Bella
Beautiful Bella
My suggestions to anyone going through something like this are as follows:
Get pictures while you're pregnant, during you're pregnancy, at the
hospital. For some reason I had a feeling to go get professional pictures
the week before we delivered. My wife spent 4 weeks of her recovery making a
wonderful scrapbook with these pictures and we were able to hang them on our
walls. Even if your baby becomes an angel, take so many pictures. Get
close-ups of hands, feet, ears and everything. You will never have enough
and the sooner you take the pictures the better they turn out. It's strange
to think about taking pictures when they are no longer with us but it gives
you so much.
If your baby becomes an angel, make the hospital remove any tubes, cables
and anything else that is no longer necessary. You can keep your baby with
you until you leave the hospital.
Take outfits and toys with you to the hospital for pictures.
Get a hand/foot impression kit.
Find a loss group to attend. It helps to share with others and listen their
stories.
http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/http://www.babyangelpics.com/
I'm sorry if you are reading my family's story because you're experiencing a
similar situation but hope it helps.
20 weeks down and we were at our ultrasound to discover the sex of our first
child. The tech wasn't able to tell what the sex was but at the end of the
ultrasound we were told that we needed to immediately go to our doctor.
Since this was our first child, we were not sure if it was standard so we
were not much worried. Once with our doctor, she informed us that our baby
had a Sacrococcygeal Teratoma and that we immediately needed to see a
specialized doctor the next day. Fortunately we live close to Indianapolis,
IN where we were being sent. Of course you can imagine what was going
through our minds that night. I stayed up almost all night researching the
condition.
The visit with the specialist entailed another ultrasound and more
information on the condition. We were told that we were having a baby girl
and that her Teretoma appeared to be a Type 1 (external tumor). The doctor
talked to us about what we should expect, statistics, similar conditions
that they had treated and other information that of course we did not
process. With tears, we left the doctor's office. We had the name Isabella
reserved for a girl but did not have a middle name at the time. Once home
the first prayer requests started being sent out for Isabella (Bella for
short).
3 weeks went by with Dr visits almost twice a week entailing ultrasounds and
an MRI of Bella. Our doctor was in contact with the top prenatal surgery
hospitals in the US discussing what everyone thought the best course of
action should be and possibly where to send us for an early birth with
surgery to happen on Bella. She seemed so strong with her hits and kicks, we
tried to keep as positive as possible for her sake. At 23 weeks the tumor
had kept growing and because it was a very vascular tumor, to feed it, her
heart had grown over half the size of her chest. Our Dr. was concerned that
Isabella had started showing signs of fluid around her heart. With the fear
that heart failure in Bella could mirror in mom, it was decided on a
Thursday that the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia would see us the
following Monday to find out if Inter-Eutero surgery to remove the tumor was
an option.
After an evening with family we set off on Sunday on a plane for
Philadelphia. Thinking that we might be in Philadelphia for weeks or months,
we packed accordingly. After a night at a so-so hotel and experiencing taxis
for the first time, we made our way to the hospital on Monday for more
tests. Of course with all our luggage in tow hoping to get a room at a
Ronald McDonald house for the rest of the trip. We got done on Monday and
were able to get a room at the Ronald McDonald house in New Jersey. We went
back to the hospital on Tuesday for the final round of tests and meeting
with the Dr's. The doctors were very nice and professional but what they
told us was devastating. We were told that the tumor was actually a Type 2
(mostly external with an internal part), the internal part of the tumor
appeared to be growing up the spine, the base of the tumor was too large for
surgery in the womb, my wife's placenta was swelling and they gave an almost
0% chance of survival with this teratoma. What could we say after that
except get us on a plane home. Before we left, they did tell us that if were
able to make it to 28 weeks then they would welcome us back to deliver
Bella.
Once home we met with our doctor regularly. We had so many people praying
and Bella was so active that it seemed we would make it to 28 weeks. The
Sunday before week 25, my wife thought that she was having contractions.
Since we had never been pregnant before, she wasn't sure. So we headed off
to the hospital to get checked out. It turned out that she was having
contractions and we were admitted to the hospital that night. With the extra
size of the tumor my wife was measuring 31 weeks. She was given drugs to
stop the contractions and we were in a wait and see pattern. We got the
impression that we would go home later in the week so I headed to work on
Tuesday. At 10am I received a call from my mother, who was staying with my
wife at the hospital for the day. She told me that the doctor just advised
them that a C-section was scheduled for Wednesday morning. Off to the
hospital I went. We spent the evening with friends and family in the
hospital and waited for Wednesday to arrive. My wife was given steroids to
try to help develop Bella's lungs and we spent the last night with our
daughter.
July 15th, Wednesday morning came quickly. The C-Section was scheduled for
8am. Friends and family arrived as well as a pastor from our church. We
gathered for prayer and before we knew it, we were going to the operating
room. Since there was a chance that we would not have much time with Bella,
the doctors were going to numb my wife instead of putting her to sleep.
Because of everything that my wife was going through and her emotional
state, the doctors allowed me to be in the operating room while they were
administering the c-spine. After two c-spines and an epidural my wife was
numb enough to operate on. They had no explanation why it took three times
to finally get her numb but it was a blessing that I was in the room for my
wife's support. At 9:38am Isabella Christine was born. As they moved her
from her home for 25 weeks to an examining table, I was able to see her gasp
for air. She never made a sound. They immediately picked her up and took her
into another room to be evaluated. A nurse came to get me while my wife was
being stitched. I was taken into the room that Bella had been moved to. As I
walked towards her, I noticed that they did not have anything hooked up to
her and asked if we were going to try to save her. They told me that there
was nothing we could do and that she wasn't in any pain. I picked her up in
a blanket that I had bought her and took her to see her mom. She weighed 3.6
pounds, over half of her size was the tumor. She was with us about 20
minutes before she went to heaven. My family called a volunteer organization
that takes professional pictures for free, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. We
had our pictures taken with Bella and spent time with our families. We were
not dismissed from the hospital until the following Sunday since my wife was
experiencing some difficulty in recover. We kept Bella with us until we had
to leave. We had her cremated and held a service a few weeks later.
We will never forget our little one and want to thank everyone for their
thoughts and prayers.
.
